The World Will Live As One

 

We live in a world that is quick to judge. From ethnicity to body size to religion to pretty much everything else under the sun, everything is up for scrutiny and judgment. It’s always us pitted against the “other”. Of course, we are always right and the other is to be scorned. 

As a parent, this has always worried me. I want my son to know that at the core all human beings are the same. They shouldn’t be defined and judged by man-made parameters of race, caste, nationality, socio-economic status, and the kind. Neither should they be pigeonholed and judged on natural differentiations like gender and body size. 

So how does one raise non-judgmental kids? It's a hard road. Not for your kids, for you. Kids learn how to walk, how to talk, behaviors, and mannerisms from the people around them. If you have a multi-lingual household, they will learn multiple languages, with ease. In the same way, if you want non-judgmental kids, you’ll have to shed those prejudices and walk on higher ground. My son goes to a Waldorf school and the one thing they keep saying and I agree with completely, is that young children learn by imitation. They will do what they see you do, and that will always be their primary source of learning. 

I strongly believe that embracing parenthood has made me a much better person. I have had to look deep into my own prejudices and judgmental attitudes and shed them to make sure I don’t model that for my son. To supplement that, I have tried to show him diversity in every way I could think of. I chose a school with a diverse peer group, and read books with characters from all over the world and of all genders. When I couldn’t find such books I made stories of my own, setting them in different places and with characters of all genders, age groups, abilities, and nationalities. We watch movies/videos from all over the world. I recently showed my son a video of Nick Vujicic, who suffers from phocomelia (he was born without arms or legs) and all he said after the video was, Mamma this guy is so cool! If we show them diversity without judgment, they will accept it like that. 

I also call it out when I see something or someone who's being judgmental, whether it's an ad on TV or a relative who's come visiting. Is it easy? No with a capital N! It can cause conflict, but it’s good conflict, the kind I want my son to see, the kind I want him to raise his voice for as he grows older. 

When he’s the one who's said something, I stick to the truth as much as I can. He once teased me, saying I'm fat. I very calmly told him that yes, that is the truth, I am fat, but that doesn't make it okay for him to tease me about that because my body size doesn't change who I am or how much we love each other. He's never done it again. There was no screaming or shouting. I just let him know it's not okay to tease someone based on his or her appearance and that it’s not funny. 

I feel it's the best gift parents can give their children, to send them out in the world with as few prejudices as possible. I keep remembering the lines “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one, I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.” John Lennon sang that decades ago, but I hope, the generation we are raising will shed their prejudices and judgments and live as one.