Everywhere I go these days parents are talking about school admissions. Where they applied. The number of points they have. Lists and wait lists. What'll happen if the kids don't get into xyz school?
That question stayed with me. I'm part of this madness too. The day the forms got released I sat like a demon and downloaded, filled, uploaded and submitted forms. For a week. I was a bit crazed by the end of it. Which schools are good? Where would I want to send my little baby off to? His play school kicks ass, would any "big" school compare? I remember getting teary-eyed and messaging a friend "my baby's too small for a big school. They're mean."
At some point in all of this, just as I was about to lose my sanity completely I had an epiphany of sorts. I went to arguably some of the "best" worst schools in the country. The kind that feature in the top ten schools of the city but suck your soul dry when you're in them. I shifted every three years and my parents did their best to give me a good education. The schools failed miserably at doing that. Yet, I turned out fine. It was my journey and I learnt what I had to. In the process I built relationships that have carried on many decades later. What was I so worried about?
It doesn't really matter what school I went to, how I fared in my 10th or 12th boards. Who cares what college I attended? Why do we give these things so much importance? And if they aren't important, what is?
What is it that I really want for my son? I want him to develop a love for learning, to approach it with enthusiasm. I want him to discover and utilize his full potential. To be happy, genuinely happy in whatever he does. To be an aware human being who engages with the world around him in positive ways.
I don't need him to go to the "best" school. He doesn't need to be an "achiever" unless he wants to be one. I will never ask him to score 97% so that he can make it to a good college, unless that is important to him. I don't want him or his friends to feel compelled to commit suicide in fear of their board results.
And I realize that school will play a part in his life, but it will only be a part. It doesn't matter what school he goes to if I can instill self-esteem and confidence in him at home. Even if he goes to the same school I did, he can experience it differently if I equip him with the right tools.
Then came the thought, what if he doesn't make it into any school? What if? Well then we have a year to ourselves. To travel and explore the world. To play and learn new things.
No matter how much I talk or stress about it, this decision is not in my control. Nothing I do now affects it. So why not sit back and enjoy. Wait and watch the story unfold itself. Let this not be an examination for all of us. We needn't take life so seriously. It's just a school. It doesn't determine ours or our child's life. We determine that. Do we want to be present and live in the moment or worry about things we cannot change?
I hope my son makes it to a school of my choice. But if he doesn't, we'll ride that wave together too.
That question stayed with me. I'm part of this madness too. The day the forms got released I sat like a demon and downloaded, filled, uploaded and submitted forms. For a week. I was a bit crazed by the end of it. Which schools are good? Where would I want to send my little baby off to? His play school kicks ass, would any "big" school compare? I remember getting teary-eyed and messaging a friend "my baby's too small for a big school. They're mean."
At some point in all of this, just as I was about to lose my sanity completely I had an epiphany of sorts. I went to arguably some of the "best" worst schools in the country. The kind that feature in the top ten schools of the city but suck your soul dry when you're in them. I shifted every three years and my parents did their best to give me a good education. The schools failed miserably at doing that. Yet, I turned out fine. It was my journey and I learnt what I had to. In the process I built relationships that have carried on many decades later. What was I so worried about?
It doesn't really matter what school I went to, how I fared in my 10th or 12th boards. Who cares what college I attended? Why do we give these things so much importance? And if they aren't important, what is?
What is it that I really want for my son? I want him to develop a love for learning, to approach it with enthusiasm. I want him to discover and utilize his full potential. To be happy, genuinely happy in whatever he does. To be an aware human being who engages with the world around him in positive ways.
I don't need him to go to the "best" school. He doesn't need to be an "achiever" unless he wants to be one. I will never ask him to score 97% so that he can make it to a good college, unless that is important to him. I don't want him or his friends to feel compelled to commit suicide in fear of their board results.
And I realize that school will play a part in his life, but it will only be a part. It doesn't matter what school he goes to if I can instill self-esteem and confidence in him at home. Even if he goes to the same school I did, he can experience it differently if I equip him with the right tools.
Then came the thought, what if he doesn't make it into any school? What if? Well then we have a year to ourselves. To travel and explore the world. To play and learn new things.
No matter how much I talk or stress about it, this decision is not in my control. Nothing I do now affects it. So why not sit back and enjoy. Wait and watch the story unfold itself. Let this not be an examination for all of us. We needn't take life so seriously. It's just a school. It doesn't determine ours or our child's life. We determine that. Do we want to be present and live in the moment or worry about things we cannot change?
I hope my son makes it to a school of my choice. But if he doesn't, we'll ride that wave together too.
