My body, your body

When I was a little girl I loved having a bath with my pittu. He was the center of my universe. I'd carry his photo to sleep if I was away from him and watch him every moment we were together. No one was bigger, stronger and handsomer than my father.

And then the daily baths stopped. Without a word of explanation. Had I done something wrong? Did he not love me anymore? I remember being terribly hurt and confused. All my questions were faced with a stony silence or a stern admonition to just accept the decision.

As an adult I understand that it was because I was growing older and my parents didn't think it was right for a young girl to bathe with her father. Oh how I wish they had handled it differently.

So when I became a single parent I decided I wouldn't deal with body issues the same way with my son. We bathe together every day, I change my clothes in front of him and I try my best to not swallow my tongue when he asks the inevitable awkward questions.

Before you think I'm a pervert I did what I always do when confused and read up a lot on how to deal with kids, nudity and body issues before making my decision. The unanimous answer, which appealed to me, was you will pass on to your kids your views. They will be as comfortable with their bodies and those of the opposite sex as you are. I had always been darned uncomfortable! With mine and everyone else's!

So as I did with so many other things after my son came into my life, I changed. As he asks me now why his chest looks different from mine, I tell him it's because I'm older and a woman. It seems to satisfy his curiosity. I think it's a hell lot better than swatting his hands away or never letting him see my breasts, making them and the breasts of all women always, mysterious and forbidden. Twisting it in his head till he feels compelled to believe the nonsense which will surely be swarming around him soon. When he asks why boys and girls have different peeing apparatus I tell him, as simply as I can, how their bodies are meant to be different. If he wants to touch himself or walk around naked, he can, as long he's in a safe space.

He knows he grew inside my stomach, he wasn't a gift from god or a parcel from the birds.

It's so important for our children to be comfortable and safe in their knowledge and exploration of their bodies, their sexuality and that of those around them. As parents, we hold that key. So let's shine the light and tell our little ones it's ok to touch, to ask questions, to see their mommies and daddies naked and see the differences. Let's not making it hidden and shameful. It's time we owned our bodies so that our children can own theirs.